For the most part I think bus drivers get a bad rap. I've had a few jerk bus drivers in my time... heck, I've had a LOT of jerk bus drivers. I guess the job itself is a little repetative without much promise of excitement.

BUT... One day while riding the bus in Vancouver, I got to meet the friendliest bus driver ever!

I got on the bus, and everything seemed normal, but as we started driving down the street, I could hear the bus driver talking to one or two of the passengers. They just seemed to be making small talk about the town, and nothing was out of order.

Except that he wasn't specifically talking to any "one" person. He was addressing the entire bus as if this regular city bus was some sort of a tour bus.

So, the "Talking Bus Driver" continued down the road, giving off facts and little bits of trivia about each block, and cross street that we came about. He would tell all about when the buildings were first built, and who the founder of several large companies was, and all that silly info that you would expect from a tour bus.

I was coming closer to my stop, and I felt a sense of dread come over me. I didn't want to get off the bus. I wanted to stay and ride the route and find out all I could about the town.

Still, my stop came, and I stepped off the bus and thanked the driver. It was the most fun I had ever had on a bus, and I was sad to have to end it.

I never again saw the "Talking Bus Driver", and I've looked, believe me! He must have been an angel, sent down to earth to make one bus ride seem just a little shorter then usual.

Sometimes I still look up into the night's sky and wonder where that Talking Bus Driver is.

For those of you who don't know Spokane. Each year there is this Race called Bloomsday, and it's the worlds largest timed race, and some 60-70 thousand people run it each year.

And there is also Jr. Bloomsday, and anyone under 12 can run it! So, one year when I was 11, Danny Caveny, and I decided to run Jr. Bloomsday! It was only a 3 mile race, but it seems a lot bigger to a 11 year old.

While taking a break from running on the track, Danny and I met this kid who talked with us for a bit. He seemed like a fun kind of kid, but there was something off about him.

Halfway through the conversation, he said, "my friends hate it when I give them my big Bear hugs!" Now, this guy was really big for his age, so I could feel for his friends... but what did this have to do with me and Danny?

Was this guy trying to give us a couple of Bear Hugs?

Maybe it was just his way of saying Hello.

I guess we'll never know, cause me and Danny started running again after that.

I remember fondly the very first time I got the wind knocked out of me. See, most of the time if you fall down, or hit sometime and you lose a little breath, get dizzy, it's a weird feeling, and everyone always says thats "getting the wind knocked out of you". BUT - very rarely do you get all the wind knocked out of you.

I was riding skateboards with Danny and Cory Caveny around the block, and we had been jumping curbs the whole time. We were regular "Trashers".

I went to jump a curb, (a curb that I had jumped at least 14 times that day) when I lost my footing, and fell straight back, hitting my spine across the curb. OUCH!

It didn't actually hurt, and I stood up, brushed myself off, and picked up my board. Then I realized that I couldn't breath! I just stood there for a few seconds trying to tell myself how to breath. "Open your mouth and suck in air" I said to myself, and my mouth would open, but my lungs would not suck any air into them.

So I kept standing there not knowing what to do. No one ever tells you what to do if you get the wind knocked out of you.

By now I must have been pretty blue in the face, cause Danny was asking me if I was all right. Finally I coughed, my lungs opened up, and I was once again free to breath that sweet thing I like to call "AIR".

So Kids, rememeber, if you get the wind knocked out of you, cough or exhale until your lungs open up again.

And thats "One To Grow On."

I was in the elevator heading towards the 6th floor. The elevator stops on the 3rd floor, the door opens, and two women step into the elevator; so I stepped near the back wall so that they wouldn't bump into me.

And as I was backing up, I wacked my elbow REALLY HARD against the railing, and trust me the pain was bad! I didn't want to scream, or flail my arm around in pain cause then I would really freak out these poor women.

The women were going to the 5th floor, so I figured that I could stand the pain for a few seconds... UNTIL!

The elevator stops on the 4th floor, and the UPS man gets on. The pain hasnt gone down, but I think I can handle it.

Then the elevator stops on the 5th floor, and of course, it's the old lady with a walker trying to get on the elevator! She takes her sweet time, and right before the doors close, and we head up to my floor, the old lady says, "Is this going down?"

By now my face must have been blue cause I was holding my breath! The pain was really, really creeping up on me.. and I had to get out of this elevator!

The door starts to close, and closes right on the ladies walker! The doors open AGAIN, and still don't close right away cause the walker is still in the way of the door's sensor.

FINALLY - after what must be 2 minutes, I make it to my floor, get out of the elevator, and rub my elbow until it feels happy again!

The best part about growing up, is that you don't know any better! You can do really stupid things, and you just don't know that you shouldn't have done them!

Danny Caveny and I were over at Isaiah's house one day. Across the street from Isaiah there was a large area of land that had many houses being built on it.

Well, being the young little tikes that we were, we all decided to go play in the construction yard... Im sure every kid has done this at one time or another in their life.

So, we're running through all the house frames, and climbing over boards from house to house, and having a good time! Then me and Isaiah notice that Danny hasn't been around for a while... "Where did he go?"

Suddenly, we hear Danny yelling for us to come check something out! We run over to one of the houses, and Danny is in what will someday be the basement. He is over by what looked to be the Gas line, AND IS TURNING KNOBS!

Now, I realize that the Gas hadn't been turned on to this unfinished house... but I didn't know that then! So Isaiah and I thought that Danny had turned the Gas line on, and that the house could explode at any moment!

At that moment in my life, I don't think I had run faster before than I did then! It really was scary for both me and Isaiah!

Years later I still think to myself... "Danny must have known that was the gas line, and that we were in a construction yard..."

Well, thats Danny for you!

There once was an evil meat packer named Edward G. Rice. He would lead young children into his meat factory with candy, and slaughter them alive!

At least that is what many would have you believe.

There is no real evil history to Rice's Meat Factory, but for years the young students of Spokane Valley would tell of strange things that happened when you enter the abandoned building.

I have heard of everything from spooky noises to someone who told me that he found the Portal to Hell in Rice's Meat Factory! The Portal of Hell, I kid you not!

So one day Jeff, Adam Beer, and I all made the trek out to the Haunted Meat Mansion on top of Shelly Lake hill! Once there I found that the only creepy thing about the place is the ever-consuming terror that you'll be arrested for tresspassing.

It was your basic run down meat factory, and even then it didn't seem evil. Just dark.

Years later the meat factory would be torn down, and a housing project would grow from the ashes of Rice's Meat Factory.

Spooky!

I had gone to the movies to see "Dogma" for my second time, and I was waiting for someone outside the bathroom after the show. Near the bathrooms, Nintendo had set up a few free Donkey Kong64 game centers where all the little kids could test the game out for free.

It was about 12 midnite when the movie got out, so there wasn't any kids in the theatre to play the games, but I noticed this one girl standing near the machines watching the demos. She must have been around 20-22 years old, and kept looking around to see if anyone was watching her, watch the Donkey Kong game.

I found it interesting that she was trying to hide the fact that she really, really wanted to play the game. She would walk back and forth around the screens, and when people weren't looking, she'd go in casually for a closer look. Sometimes she would get close enough, and sort of tap her finger on the controllers.

I finally got the point where I felt sorry for her. There really isnt anything wrong with wanting to play Donkey Kong. It's in our blood... we all want to play Donkey Kong!

So, I walked up to the machine she was standing next too, and I just started playing. I could see her watching me, and I turned to her and said, "you can play too," I said happily "it's fun, see!"

She smiled and started playing the game... and she looked happy. She never really had anything to be embarressed about. Donkey Kong should be enjoyed equally by all!

A lot of strange things can happen on public transportation, and I've seen my fair share of wacky people on the Vancouver skytrain, but nothing could prepare me for one fateful day back when I was still going to school.

It was a quiet morning, and I was all ready for another day of reading, writing, and all that good stuff. I was sitting back in the skytrain, minding my own business, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN!

I was asked the weirdest question that I have ever been asked before...

Some girl sitting near me tapped me on the shoulder, and asked me, "If I was good at fixing zippers?" Her back pack zipper had caught itself, fallen off the track, and she couldnt get it to zip up right. I guess it was her lucky day, cause I was able to fix the zipper with minimal effort, and she seemed happy.

The thing that gets me about this situation is the "question" itself. She could have said, "Hey can you help me with my zipper?" BUT she said, "Are you good at fixing zippers?"

GOOD? Does it really come down to this? Is the world split into two groups: One that can fix zippers, and one that can't? AND if so, how does this affect the afterlife?

I had come home one evening after a long hard day at school, and all I wanted was a little rest. So, I laid down on my couch to chill out and watch a little TV. I had a blanket, and felt myself getting sleepier, and sleepier as minutes went by, and was too tired to get up and go to my bed. I then decided to just sleep on the couch.

Getting to sleep at first was a little restless because I was still wearing the cloths that I went to school in. So I kicked off my shoes, and took off my pants and threw them aside (I still had my boxers on, for all you weirdos out there).

I remember it being really, really cold that night, and I was just too lazy to get another blanket, and after a good nights sleep, I woke up.

To my surprise I found that during the night, to keep myself warm, I had grabbed my pants off the floor and had been using THEM as a blanket!

It was 3rd grade, and I had been invited to Abe Walters' Birthday. I didn't know Abe too well, so I had no idea what to get him as a present.

So I did the one thing that all little boys do for their friend's Birthdays. They buy presents that they themselves would really like.

I rushed into Kay Bee Toys in search of something great! Something that Abe would get years and years of use out of! Something that would make his day, and define his childhood.

That toy was:

An Optimus Prime Voice Changer!

It changes your voice to sound like a Transformer! I bet Abe still gets a lot of use out of that one even today!

It seems that whenever I tell people that I'm eating a bagel they all respond the same way.

"You're eating a Bagel?" they will say to me in surprise. Why is it that people have a problem with others eating bagels? It is that much of a surprise that someone would consume a fresh bread roll?

This was all cleared up for me one day when someone else told me that they were eating a bagel. My response was, "You're eating a Bagel?"

I think I said it because I liked Bagels so much that I was surprised to find another who shared my love of the forbidden bread!

So next time you see someone eating a bagel... just given 'em a sly wink, and a nod. They'll know what you mean!

Every year when I was about 3 to 8 year old, my sisters would go away to Girl Scout Camp for a week. This would leave me lots of time to spend with my mom and Dad.

When I was 6 my mom told me that on the day that my sisters leave, I could have a "Girls Going Away Party!"

I invited some friends over, and we set up the "pool" (this was one of those little plastic ones that you buy at White Elephant). We had cupcakes, and ice cream, and played LOTS of Coleco Vision!

It was like Christmas... only without the Girls!

I bought some condoms at Pac N Save once for a gag gift. I remember feeling really weird about it, cause I knew that the cashier would see that I was buying condoms, and think to herself "there goes another on of those Bad Kids... Off to have "the sex."

It was then that I realized that I knew why I was really buying them, and I shouldn't care what they think!

I go through the line and the lady at the counter smirks at me! Then the bagger examines the box and looks back to me! Then they both look to each other!

I calm myself and think that it will all be over in a minute. But as I walk away the bagger says, "Have Fun Tonight!"

I became really angry at this! Would they do this to all their shoppers? Is this they way they are taught in "Bagger School" to treat everyone?

I turned back to them and said, "Ya know, I happen to be buying these as a gag gift, but I think in the future you shouldn't make fun of your valued shoppers!"

I hope everyone learns a lesson when they hear this story... especially if you work at Pac N Save!

I was riding down this really steep hill when my front tire fell off! I crashed into a curb, and flew into someone's driveway.

Now, this was bad... but in many ways it saved my life.

See, I hadn't thought out the whole hill. At the bottom was a very sharp turn that could NOT have been made by anyone! I would have smashed into a house or even worse, been hit by a car as I tried to ride around the blind corner.

If it wasnt for that loose bolt, I might not be here today... writing all these "zany" stories!

As the old saying goes... "If not for the bolt, the Shaun would be lost!"

Whenever I'm really bored talking to someone, and I want to get away from them, I usually tell them that I'm in a hurry, and that I have to meet a friend. If they ask me who I have to meet, I tell them:

"Oh, I'm just meeting my friend, Fred Hutchenson!"

Fred has saved me several times in my life, and for that I will always love him!